Monday, November 30, 2009

Timing (re-written)

Leaving home, emptying out my memories. Erasing everything in the past that meant the most to me. Those things didn't belong where I was going to go, they belong to a person I no longer know. People I used to love had written me letters. I re-read those words that night, hoping that now their lives are better. As I lay here in silence, wide awake, living with the choice I know was the right one to make. I'm so sorry for all the bad times, the times I was a curse and I'm so sorry for all the good times that made the bad times seem so much worse. I'll never forgive myself and I can't forget. These words might means nothing to you but they're all I have left except this room filled with emptiness in cardboard lessons. My last memory of this place will be this confession. I'm sorry.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Timing

Leaving home, emptying out my memories. Erasing everything in the past that meant the most to me. Those things didn't belong where I was going to go, they belong to person I no longer know. People I used to love had written me letters. I'm so glad that now their lives are so much better. I'm so sorry for all the bad times, the times I was a curse and I'm so sorry for all the good times that made the bad times seem so much worse. I'm left in a room filled with emptiness in cardboard lessons. My last memory of this place will be this confession.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Myocardial Infarction

I fell but you kept your balance. I started stumbling right from the start. Didn't learn from my mistakes, sprinting when I should walk despite pressure on my heart. Again. Again and again and again. All I want is for this cycle to end, Chest pains and shortness of breath, it's funny how feeling alive is so similar to feeling close to death. Everything happens for a reason but reasons that just can't be explained. I've had the best experiences of my life just when I felt like I was circling the drain. Why am I so susceptible? I must have a genetic predisposition but I don't care for the advice of some "qualified" physician so I'll keep clutching my chest and gasping for air. Practicing for when you won't be there.