Saturday, January 8, 2011
Old habits, they just won't die. Stuck in my rut as the world passes me by. Even when I think I've changed it's the way it always goes. It's hard when messing up is all that you know. I wish I could bring myself to show them just how much that I really care. I wish I could bring myself to let them know how much I'd miss them if they weren't there. Nine times out of ten I can't express myself in the mediums that I should be able to and nine times out of ten I can't find a way to convey my emotions to you .There's ten thousand tons of pressure crushing my soul, from the secrets I have that can never be told. Ten thousand tons of pressure resting on my conscience, from the lies I have told at my own expense. Ten thousand tons of pressure preventing me, from being the person who I really want to be. Ten thousand tons of pressure weighing on my mind, I'm lying when you ask me how I am and I just say "fine". Why is it that anger is the only emotion that strikes easily from my tongue?. So quick to judge on what they haven't instead of what they've done .It's never been my intention to be so detached and so reserved. It's not the way I wanted to be and it's not the treatment that you deserve. But I feel like we're from different worlds, it's different now, it's different to what you've already endured because what used to be so simple back then has become so obscured. Someday, someone like me won't be considered a failure.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
You being taken away made me question my faith. For such a long time I prayed you were in a better place. I turned my back momentarily on what I knew deep down was the truth because it was important to you. I could only bare to lie to myself for so long before I had to face the facts. God doesn't exist just because you're not coming back. God doesn't exist just because I still wish I could speak to you. God doesn't exist just because your family wants him to. There's no angel above watching over me because there's no such thing as ghosts. Angels are buried just like everyone else and that's what scares me most.
Ganging up on a defenseless teen? A big man behind your mask so that you can't be seen. A disgrace to your kind, an abomination who strikes down innocents without provocation. To protect and serve the people, they've all taken this oath, but they turn their backs on us when we need them the most. Trying to extinguish free speech in this nation by bringing violence to a peaceful protest. Highlighting that democracy is truly dead if it ever did even exist. I've seen fear and uncertainty in these officers eyes, standing still, letting out silent cries. No sympathy, I say shame on you. You should be standing with us, this is your country too. My anger will never be silenced. Sew my mouth shut, plug my ears, even black out my eyes. The World will still know of your sins because this truth will soak through my skin. When the hypocrites and scumbags in uniform are worse than the people they apprehend, it's time to hang your head because this really is the beginning of the end. You pigs make me sick.